Me and Moses

This is an excerpt from the devotional that I use each morning.

THERE ARE FEW PASSAGES in the Pentateuch which on first reading are more discouraging than the outcome of Numbers 20:1-13.

Yet the account carries some subtle complexities. It begins with more of the usual griping. The need of the people is real: they are thirsty (20:2). But instead of humbly seeking the Lord in joyous confidence that he would provide for his own people, they quarrel with Moses and charge him with the usual: they were better off in slavery, their current life in the desert is unbearable, and so forth.

Moses and Aaron seek the Lord’s face. The glory of God appears to them (20:6). God specifically says, “Speak to that rock before their eyes and it will pour out its water” (20:8). But Moses has had it. He assembles the crowd and cries, “Listen, you rebels, must we bring you water out of this rock?” (20:10) — which rhetorical question, at its face value, is more than a little pretentious. Then he strikes the rock twice, and water gushes out. But the Lord tells Moses and Aaron, “Because you did not trust in me enough to honor me as holy in the sight of the Israelites, you will not bring this community into the land I give them” (20:12).

Three observations:

(1) God does not say, “Because you did not obey me enough . . . ” but “Because you did not trust in me enough to honor me as holy . . .” There was, of course, formal disobedience: God said to speak, and Moses struck the rock. But God perceives that the problem is deeper yet. The people have worn Moses down, and Moses responds in kind. His response is not only the striking of the rock, it is the answer of a man who under pressure has become bitter and pretentious (which is certainly not to say that any of us would have done any better!). What has evaporated is transparent trust in God: God is not being honored as holy.

Its so easy to be worn down by my children.  I'm talking in the first hour of the day.  And its easy to justify my impatience, anger, irritability and self-sufficiency.  I am quick to roll my eyes if others are around.  I'm quick to dread the rest of the day until they are tucked into bed, quiet, cute and easy to love. I'm quick to believe conventional wisdom that says I have too many kids and thats why I'm exasperated.   And yet, I'm responsible for my response to them, just as Moses was in leading the people.  If I take matters into my own hand, get angry, and "strike the rock", meaning lash out at the children, then I'm responsible, no matter how hot the fire seems.  Yes, the Isrealites were ridiculous in blaming Moses, and not looking to God to meet their need.  Yes, my kids are demanding, selfish and think the world revolves around them.  They are responsible for that.  Yet it doesn't give me an excuse to respond in kind with bitterness and pretention.  May God give me transparent trust in God, that I may honor Him as Holy, no matter the circumstances.