My friend Brandi
Brandi and I are two small-town Pennsylvania girls, but we
met in a huge China city in 2002. I was
in dire need of a good friend, and Brandi was God’s provision at just the right
time. In the years that followed Brandi
became one of my dearest friends.
I loved being friends with Brandi for many reasons.
I loved being friends with Brandi because she pursued depth
in her friendships. She took the
initiative with me. She made effort to
plan how we would spend time together, and when. Her others-centeredness was evident in her
tender questions that always drew me out.
And she often took the extra step, after I was done sharing, to ask me a
harder question that pointed me to God and His working in my life. After Brandi
left China I could expect that anytime she found someone flying to our city
there would be a package for me and my family from her. No matter if she was exhausted from her
battle with cancer or not. She wrote to
me about a month ago apologizing for not being in better touch with me! What a giving, thoughtful friend, to feel bad
during her weakest time for not reaching out to me!!
I loved being friends with Brandi because she pursued depth
in her relationship with God. “Iron
sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.” Proverbs 27:17 says. Brandi was iron to me, pushing me to be
sharpened to be more like Christ and to pursue God more. We always talked about what we were reading
from God’s Word, how we were doing spiritually.
We would recommend books to each other.
And it seemed like we were always making plans to do better, “Let’s take
a Biblical counseling class together”, “Let’s study this book together”, “Let’s
spend more time with God.” She had a
healthy dissatisfaction with the status quo in so many areas: Handling God’s word, walking by faith,
serving others. I remember talking with
her on her birthday last year and her telling me how she really wanted to spend
more time digging in the Word. She
wasn’t satisfied with just reading a few chapters, she wanted to get back into
deeper study of the Bible. Every time I
hung up the phone with Brandi, or before we left each other she always asked
how she could pray for me. And I knew
she was praying. She loved God, she
trusted him, and she fought to throw off anything that hindered her from
knowing Him more. And, she made me want
to do the same.
I loved being friends with Brandi because she loved the
gospel. It had changed her life and she
wanted it to change other’s lives. She
was willing to spend herself for this.
Really, this is the reason that we, 2 small town Pennsylvania girls
became friends at all. God changed us
and took us to China, and gave us a friendship as a reward. What a kind God!! Brandi left her home and family and friends
as a single woman and learned a new life and way of living. She gave herself to evangelism and
discipleship and growing God’s kingdom.
After she and Matt got married, we were always planning how we could
work it out to get our families to live and serve in China again. In God’s providence it wasn’t to be, but we
had fun dreaming! In these last 4 years
we have been back in China and Matt and Brandi in New Haven, Brandi has been my
greatest encourager. She was patient to listen
to my fears and gracious to ask questions, but also pointing me to go deeper
and see God’s plans from a bigger perspective.
Finally, I loved being friends with Brandi because she
helped me to enjoy life. I remember many
a Saturday in China going to flower markets, shopping for pottery and searching
for ways to improve our homes. I remember
dozens of pedicures and haircuts. I
remember talking Brandi into getting highlights at our local haircut place, and
the look on her face when she walked out with green hair!! I remember sweet times of fellowship at her
mom and dad’s house.
Elizabeth Elliot wrote, “Heaven in not here, it’s
There. If we were given all we wanted
here, our hearts would settle for this world rather than the next. God is forever luring us up and away from
this one, wooing us to Himself and His still invisible kingdom, where we will
certainly find what we so keenly long for.”
Letting go of friendship with Brandi is not easy. I am glad she is in the presence of the
Savior she loved. And yet, her death
makes this world to be less appealing to me.
Missing her friendship helps loosen my grip on life in this world and
makes me long more for Heaven. For that
I’m very grateful.
